Write me your feelings
by Jewels 27
Summary: Jess has a hard time telling Becker how she feels so she copies down a song or two to show him.


It had been a few years now that Jess has known Captain Hilary Becker. Her crush started with small things, his protectiveness of the team, his strength as a leader, and him in his uniform. That was one battle she was quite happy that the team leader Matt had lost. Matt had wanted everyone in civilian attire, Becker refused. She was a sucker for Becker in his all black ARC uniform.

She wasn't exactly sure when her feelings had changed from an innocent crush to love but they did. It could have been after her first chocolate bar from him. It could be after the bomb incident when she got the chance to save his life for a change. It could definitely have been when she saw the look in his eyes as he carried her around after the bug incident. All she new was it was real love she would not just be able to get over him, not like she could've before.

She made a decision that she was going to have to make the first move, though the thought of that was very scary. He could turn her down or laugh at her for being foolish. No, she needed to do this, if she didn't she would spend her whole life regretting it. She knew what to do, she would drop little note to him from all the songs that ever made her think of him.

Her first song would be a silly song one that would truly show her age, but she couldn't help it it was perfect first song. The song Rockstar by Miley Cyrus with a little word change was the song.

Jess walked to work so excited to slip her small note into Becker's locker. She had come in extra early so she could make it there before him, and hopefully not lose her nerve. The note was only the beginning bit from the song but it got her point across. She slipped it in his locked and ran from the room only to slam into a very hard body. She knew even before looking up that it was the man in question. Apparently she hadn't come early enough.

"Umm sorry Becker.." she said nervously, she now wasn't so sure about that note.

"No problem Jess, I can take the hit, If I couldn't I have no business being a Captain." He chuckled

"Still sorry.. I gotta go. Bye!" She continued her run towards her beloved ADD. She was so scared now. She brought up to CCTV to the locker rooms to watch Becker open his locker. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt like she couldn't breath. She watched as he picked up her pink note and read it.

" _Sometimes I walk at little_

 _Faster in the ARC hallway_

 _Just to get next to you_

 _Some days I spend a little extra_

 _Time in the morning_

 _Just to impress you_

 _Guess you don't notice_

 _Guess you don't need this_

 _Sad you're not seein' what you're missin'_

 _On the outside shyin' away_

 _On the inside dyin' to say I'm unusual_

 _Not so typical_

 _Way too smart to be waiting around"_

 _~Jess_

The feeling in her chest hammered even further as she watched him look up towards the camera almost as instinct, knowing she was watching. She was relieved when the ADD sounded its alarm that an anomaly had been detected. She knew she was being cowardly but she couldn't help it. The team ran up behind her asking the usual questions about the anomalies location. She felt Becker's presence before she could even turn around. He leant down to grab his black box without even looking at her. Jess turned to see the team running towards the exits.

Jess had decided that she would run away. It would be the best option, she could find a new place change her name. All she had to do was get up and walk out now. The team had just secured the anomaly. After ensuring that there was no incursion Abby, Conner, Matt and Becker left and were now on their way back. The last member on the list being the reason for her planning her new life, she was sure he would nice kind about letting her down. But the thought of him saying no left a sinking feeling in her heart.

Just as she had worked up the courage to stand and run away she heard the team coming behind her yet again to place their black boxes in their rightful place.

"That was completely uneventful Jess." Conner said being his normal silly self.

"Would you rather a group of Raptors to give you some adventure Con?" Abby asked with a smirk as Conner shuddered

"Thought so." Matt said with a smile.

Jess looked around and saw Becker waiting behind the group with his black box still in hand. The rest of the team started walking off in their own directions to start their normal daily routines. Jess turned to face the ADD to attempt to give Becker the time he needed to put this black box away and walk off without incident, but to her surprise he place a chocolate bar in front of her. Attached to the bar of chocolate was a small note. Jess turned to look at Becker but he had already walked off. She turned back to read the note.

 _"When life leaves you high and dry_

 _I'll be at your door tonight if you need help, if you need help_

 _I'll shut down the city lights,_

 _I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe to make you well, to make you well_

 _When enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from war_

 _If you need help, if you need help_

 _Your hope dangling by a string_

 _Ill share in your suffering to make you well, to make you well_

 _Give me reasons to believe,_

 _That you would do the same for me_

 _And I would do it_ _for_ _you"_

 _~B_

Jess stared at the note for a good 5 minutes, she couldn't breathe. He had taken the time presumably after the anomaly was closed to think of a song and write it down to give to her. The words themselves had made her gasp as well. She could only imagine how she looked to some else gasping and then not being able to breath. These were his inner thoughts about her!

"Ehhhh" She squealed. She hadn't meant to squeal but her body betrayed her.

"Are you alright Jess?" Conner asked from across the room.

"Um, yes, sorry I got excited about.. Yeah.. gotta work sorry." She stuttered out before turning away with the biggest grin on her face. She brought up the CCTV for the armoury/training room that was Becker's territory. She kind of felt like a stalker but couldn't be bothered to stop. She just watched him for a few minutes training his men, he was remarkable the way he handled his men. The respect he commanded, she was mesmerized. That is until Abby came up next to her.

"Jess, what are you watching?" Abby asked as she smirked

"Nothing!" Jess said as she quickly switched to a different feed.

"Looked to me like you were monitoring the soldiers training."

"Well I have to make sure no bad people are able to sneak in." Jess said pathetically

"Really? A bad guy sneaking into a room where we have almost thirty very fit men with guns?" Abby teased.

"What did you need Abby?" Jess said trying to change the subject. She knew she had already lost the conversation there was no way she could rationalize peaking in at Becker.

"Just bringing you my reports on the menagerie for the week."

"Right, Thank you. I just file these and get back to work." Jess said

Jess watched as Abby walked away. Jess of course couldn't work. Her thoughts kept drifting to the words Becker had wrote down. It was by no means a declaration of love but it was just perfect to her. As she sat there thinking it came to her that it was on her to decide what to do next. She wanted to give him another note with lyrics, she just needed to perfect song. She wanted a song that showed how she felt with honesty. She knew he was open to this exchange now and she wanted to make the most of it.

After she finished writing the song down she got up to make her way to the armoury to see if she could somehow slide it to Becker without anyone noticing. Well basically without him noticing, although he is open to getting notes she didn't think she could actually hand it to him. She rounded the corner just to see him walking out of the armoury with his second in command Lieutenant Eric Taylor. Both the men walked towards her.

"Hello Ms. Parker." Taylor said to her. None of Becker's men ever called her Jess no matter how many time she had insisted on it.

"Hello Taylor, Becker. I was just heading to your office to give you some papers on new recruits coming in a few months." Jess said

"Um Jess you only have a small note in your hand." Becker said with his signature smirk on his face.

"Oh well, I meant Im going to be going to your office sometime to bring them." Jess said stumbling over her words. Becker just seemed to smirk even more.

"Captain I'll be on my way. The EMD shipment just arrived and is waiting." Taylor said excusing himself as Becker gave him a nod.

"Jess, I really must be going but I'll take that." He said as he took the note out of her hand with a big smile on his face.

"Hey, Becker that's not for you."

"Oh, really there is more people you write little love notes to?" he teased

"No." she said with a deep blush. "I need to go do some computer stuff, I'll see you later."

"Bye Jessica." He said grinning like a mad man as Jess rushed off. Becker looked down and read the note in his hands.

 _"I stand a hundred feet_

 _But I fall when I'm around you_

 _Show me an open door_

 _Then you go and slam it on me_

 _I can't take anymore_

 _I'm saying baby_

 _Please have mercy on me_

 _Take it easy on my heart_

 _Even though you don't mean to hurt me_

 _You keep tearing me apart_

 _Would you please have mercy"_

 _~ Jess_

When Jess got back to the ADD she rewound the last couple minutes of tape from the hallway outside the armoury so she could watch Becker's reaction to her newest note. She saw herself leaving very quickly and saw Becker read the note. She was very worried to see his grin fall. She was worried that she had ruined everything, maybe he wasn't quite ready to know how much he hurt her when he pulled away so much. She just had to keep reminding herself that it was now or never. She had to get all this off her chest so she could have Becker or try to move on. As she was thinking to herself she didn't realise Becker behind her.

"Hey Jess." He said as she jumped

"Becker stop doing that, you gave me such a fright."

"I can see that, sorry. I just came to leave this." he laughed as he handed her a note. Once again he was gone before she had a chance to read it. She looked down at the note in her hand and read it to herself.

 _"So scared of breaking it_

 _That I won't let it bend_

 _And I wrote two hundred letters_

 _I will never send_

 _Sometimes these cuts are so much_

 _Deeper than they seem….._

 _…….It's not that I didn't care_

 _It's that I didn't know_

 _It's not what I didn't feel,_

 _It's what I didn't show."_

 _~B_

Jess once again got that giddy feeling from early. She couldn't believe that not only had he sent the first note but this one as well. She just felt so happy he was opening up to her. These words although not his own meant everything to her. She understood what he meant right away, he was scared to admit he liked her because all that he had lost when Danny, Abby and Connor disappeared. Worse even when Sarah had died trying to find them. She understood that he it may seem he didn't have feelings but that was because he hid them well.

She was over the moon she just had to write him back, looking at the time she realised it was now lunch time and she was shocked. She couldn't believe she spent most of her morning writing love notes when she was suppose to be working. She decided she should get her note finished so when she came back to work after lunch she could focus.

Jess knew the perfect song to quote for him. She wanted him to know how she saw him, to see himself through her eyes, she knew the weight he carried, it was a lot of self hate and guilt because everything he'd been through and everything he claimed as his failures.

 _"Tall, dark and superman_

 _He puts papers in his briefcase and drives away_

 _To save the world or go to work_

 _It's the same thing to me_

 _He's got his EMD, and his great ambition_

 _I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him_

 _I hang on every word you say, ya_

 _And you smile and say, "How are you? "_

 _I say, "Just fine"_

 _I always forget to tell you, I love you, I love you... forever_

 _I watch superman fly away_

 _You've got a busy day today_

 _Go save the world, I'll be around_

 _When you come back down."_

 _~Jess_

Jess walked to the armoury and put the note on top of Becker's desk. He was the only one to ever go in there so she wasn't too worried someone else would find the note. She snuck out and into the break room to eat her food, she finished really quickly and made her way to the ADD to finish all her work.

The rest of the workday had been very quiet and she was surprised when she looked up and saw almost all of the ARC employees had gone home. Even Lester had left, so she definitely hadn't been paying attention. The workload today had been high due to a few anomalies throughout the week. Luckily she had caught up on all of them and was headed home herself.

As she was driving home Jess couldn't help but feel so disappointed that Becker hasn't given her a note back. Being so busy at work she hadn't had a lot of time to think about it. Now alone in her car she was feeling down. There was no reason to be honestly, she had already made more progress with him than ever, but she wanted his next note now. As she walked up to the floor of her flat she was shocked to see a tiny note taped to the door. It read

 _"Wise men say_

 _Only fools rush in_

 _But I can't help falling in love with you_

 _Shall I stay?_

 _Would it be a sin_

 _If I can't help falling in love with you?_

 _(Turn around)_

 _Take my hand….."_

"Take my whole life too." a voice said as Jess froze. She turned to see Becker standing their with a bouquet of flowers. The flowers were every color you could think of pinks, oranges, blues, purples, greens. They screamed Jess.

"Becker, how did you, when did you get here?" Jess said with tears in her eyes.

"I've been here a while, I hid when I heard your heals." he said as he chuckled. "I love you Jess in case the last note was to subtle."

Jess flung herself at Becker the moment her lips met his she felt whole. It was nothing like her imagination, it was so much better. They kept the kiss sweet and gentle but poured their love into it. Jess pulled back and looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"I love you Becker so much."

"Sorry I prefer Superman." he joked.

"You are my superman. You're everything to me. You have been for a while." Jess said a bit unsure. She didn't want to scare him off.

"Jessica how could you look so worried when I have already told you I love you. I have loved you probably since I met you." he said pressing his forehead to hers. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours just enjoying their closeness.

"Fancy dinner? We could order in. As long as you actually share the prawn crackers this time." Jess giggled

"I'd like that Jess." he said happily.

They walked hand in hand into Jess's flat to begin their love story.


End file.
